I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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