hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
