I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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