found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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