I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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