margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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