I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
