I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
It was a blind-side dick pic.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
