yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
We need to rekindle our bromance
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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