I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You're earring is so big in my mouth
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
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