You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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