I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
