So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
