So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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