In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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