Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I want her autograph on my taint
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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