Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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