i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
