I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
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