i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
