Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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