im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Randomize