How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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