I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Randomize
