then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
When did angry sex become our thing?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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