that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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