im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
