I wanna bring you to show and tell
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize
