either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
operation have a gay friend backfired
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
