Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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