I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
