I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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