Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
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