Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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