I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
