I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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