Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
