You can't special order awesome
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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