It's Friday. Sex?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
