i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
She needs sedatives and a leash
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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