Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
