She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
