I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
