Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
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