You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
