you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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