If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
