dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
