last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
