loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
