apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
