If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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