On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
COCAINE IS GR8
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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