awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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