I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
