it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
