Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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