So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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