some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
