WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize