why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize