Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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