i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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