Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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