Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
